rancha.xyz Be free to choose their own route to self-knowledge, health and balance of body and soul.
The emotionally mature person knows that life is not easy or fair. Therefore, he does not hold anyone responsible for his happiness or suffering, nor does he put the key to his well-being in other people’s pockets. She limits herself to taking responsibility for her decisions, she is the architect of each of her steps and choices, as well as their possible consequences.
The concept of emotional maturity was one of the pillars of Albert Ellis’ theories. Thus, for those who do not know the father of cognitive-behavioral therapy, it should be noted that he was one of the most notable figures within psychology. His enthusiasm for life and his work is hard to match.
He has written more than 80 books, 1800 articles, trained more than 200 therapists and created an institute that bears his name, where he teaches people to identify, question and replace their negative or limiting beliefs with healthier ones. Those that promote well-being and emotional growth so that the person can achieve their own goals.
Thus, in all of his works, the need always emerges to transmit basic tools with which to facilitate our growth and maturity as human beings. These keys or principles that we discuss below contain the essence of this knowledge that Albert Ellis gave us through what he considered his true purpose: to make suffering more manageable.
1. The emotionally mature person understands that the world is not what he wants
Many of us wish we could edit the past. Be like the writer who finishes a chapter and decides to erase certain paragraphs so the story makes more sense.
However, whether we believe it or not, sometimes life is meaningless. There are things that happen without any explanation; they are events, facts and circumstances that we are forced to accept in order to continue moving forward.
Likewise, the emotionally mature person has learned that he cannot change people. You cannot expect others to act or say what is expected. All of this is, without a doubt, yet another source of useless suffering.
2. You know that to be happy, you must be responsible for yourself
Bertrand Malle, a cognitive psychologist at Brown University, conducted a study in 2004 to look at the relationship between happiness and how our minds understand the concept of personal responsibility.
Thus, a fact that remains in evidence is that the act of assuming that the responsibility for what happens to us is in the hands of others creates a clear discomfort. It’s like living in ostrich territory, it’s hiding our heads while we blame the world for our failures and discouragements.
It is clear, however, that we do not have control over every aspect of our reality. However, we have the opportunity to choose how to act in the face of the reality that we have to live. Therein lies the key; this is, without a doubt, the route plan that the emotionally mature person has in mind every day.
3. Found that you are allowed to change whenever you want
The emotionally mature person allows himself to change. Because to change is to grow and to adjust the course with greater precision after having acquired new learnings.
Taking a step forward in our growth often means leaving things and people behind to reduce the burdens that limit us, erode personal values and well-being. Something like this implies mustering the courage to understand that our potential is to assume change periodically.
4. You must carry an emotional compass in your pocket
On every journey along our life paths, we need an emotional compass. One that always guides us to the north, where fears are not too heavy, where there is no anguish and where anxiety does not slow our steps.
The emotionally mature person has learned to deal with the states that have brought him undesirable consequences, from which he has somehow gained knowledge. Because every compass must be well calibrated, and this is learned through experience, being more attentive to internal states, irrational thoughts, emotions that bring out the worst in us.
5. You don’t have to be in love to be happy
The emotionally mature person does not obsessively pursue love. It doesn’t avoid it, it doesn’t run away from it, but neither does it need it. Because if there’s one thing you understand, it’s that in affective matters, what counts is being able to continue growing. Continuing to learn together with someone who enriches life’s journey, a person who does not veto emotional values, but who drives and expands them.
Thus, in the heart of someone who is emotionally mature only fits the loves that he knows how to balance, dreams and projects where everyone can follow their goals, but having a common space. If this does not happen, solitude will always be preferable, because well-being and personal satisfaction can inhabit this territory.
To conclude, one aspect must be noted. Nobody comes into this world being an emotionally mature person; this subject is learned over time, and day after day new and better skills are acquired to include in our existential baggage. So let’s be receptive to this kind of learning.
