Are You A Good Listener?

It is possible to know a lot about others by what they say and tell. A good listener can learn a lot about people, their intentions and underlying messages. Active listening is essential when understanding others; hearing is a physical ability, but listening is a social skill.

By actively listening, we pick up on what the other person is trying to convey, and we encourage them to keep talking. It is essential that the other person realizes that you understand them, which will make them open up to you more. If in doubt,  knowing how to listen is one of the best qualities we can cultivate as people.

Within communication, everything counts – not only what we say, but also our gestures and our body expression in general. Knowing how to read beyond words, in the gestures of others, helps a lot.

It’s very sad, but it’s  been proven that we only hear half of what our interlocutor tells us, and soon we don’t remember more than half of it. Difficult, isn’t it? We usually hear what we want as well as see what interests us, and in the end  we look to the words of others for confirmation of our expectations. Of course, with this panel, misunderstandings and misunderstandings are the order of the day. In the end, the message arrives distorted and full of errors.

The problem is that  we all react according to what we believe the other wants to say, and if we have misunderstood, our reaction will be inadequate, and conflicts can occur that neither of the parties was looking for.

Benefits of Active Listening

By actively listening, we can:

– To better understand what is expected of us.

– Develop a more harmonious relationship with our co-workers, family, friends and love partners

– Solve problems more easily.

– Capture underlying meanings.

How to improve our listening skills

Definitely, we can all improve in this area; here are some ideas on how to do it:

1.  Be patient and calm. Give your interlocutor time to express himself calmly, not everyone is a natural communicator.

2.  Focus on what you are doing. Don’t be thinking about what happened yesterday or what you have to do later. Don’t do three different things while listening.

3.  Focus on the person listening. This is crucial: don’t wonder what you’re going to say next. Sometimes it can happen that instead of listening to the other, we are just listening to our own thoughts, internally affirming or denying everything they tell us. In other words, don’t just listen to yourself.

4.  Don’t let your mind wander. Make an effort not to have mental distractions.

5.  Ask questions. This is a good way to start a conversation with another person and give them the opportunity to express themselves.

6.  Summarize what you’re hearing. That’s a great way to clarify things. Sometimes people don’t say what they really mean, and summarizing helps them to verbalize their feelings and ideas more clearly.

7.  Observe body language and what is not said. Listen for the feelings and ideas behind the words.

8.  Don’t interrupt. This is a very unpleasant thing for anyone trying to communicate an idea. It’s good, actually, to take a short break before speaking. This will help the other person to feel that there is no rush and that they are really listening to you.

It is very important that we learn to listen to others, but even though it seems a simple thing, there are really few people who really know how to listen, with a sincere interest in what the other has to say.

If we make an effort to actively listen, we will have nothing to lose and much to gain, as this simple detail can change our lives and our personal relationships. After all, who doesn’t want to be heard?

Image courtesy of Jesper Sachmann