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Sometimes you are just sad; he looks for reasons to leave the moment of sadness aside, but he cannot find them.
It seems that life goes on in such a way that it cannot arouse your interest, let alone your enthusiasm. You just get carried away, as if time were a slippery floor.
Other times you are sad, but you know exactly where that feeling comes from. It could be a loss, a failure, a disappointment, etc. The presence of this event is so strong in your life that you cannot get rid of the sensation derived from it.
Without a doubt, there are times in life when sadness is inevitable. Other times, however, we can let it go, but we can’t because we don’t know how to do it or because, unintentionally, we end up feeding this sadness.
So if you’re feeling sad, it’s worth asking some questions that can give you clues to getting out of that state.
Did I do something I feel guilty about?
Cases in which the sadness does not dissipate because the guilt that sustains it does not end are very common. The worst thing is that this guilt is often just imaginary.
In other words, it does not correspond to a negative result that was the product of our responsibilities, but to a fantasy that we neither identified nor elaborated.
Guilt often surrounds an event that negatively affected others or ourselves. That’s when we start to go around what we can’t digest, that we don’t know how to fix.
Am I being true to my wishes?
Another frequent reason for sadness, especially when we don’t identify a specific cause, is dissonance. For one reason or another, we end up betraying our desires, our dreams or our affections.
This creates a feeling of deep unease with ourselves. Sadness would be the expression of this censure.
Deep down, more than sad, we are disappointed in ourselves. We keep ourselves stuck in a duality where we want something but do something else.
Am I loyal to my convictions?
This point is similar to the previous one, but in this case, the emphasis is on the contradiction between what we consciously think and what we do in practice. Perhaps, for example, we have witnessed an injustice, but we do not confront it out of fear, negligence or insecurity.
Perhaps we’ve clung to the idea of others simply because we’re afraid to go against the grain. Deep down, however, we know that this goes against our true beliefs. As in the previous case, rejection takes the form of sadness.
Did I sleep and eat well?
Being sad is not always related to emotions to thoughts. Often it has to do with a lifestyle in which there is some kind of over-demanding or lack of care. Fatigue and malnutrition also lead to sadness, especially when they are prolonged in time.
Lack of rest affects our emotions remarkably. Just not getting enough sleep leads to a hazy perspective on everything around us.
Likewise, when we don’t eat properly, our brain also feels this deficit, making us more irritable and depressed.
What could make me feel better and get out of this moment of sadness?
Perhaps this is the most important question when we are sad. Sometimes we don’t find the answers to the other questions easily, but this one is usually within our reach.
In the short term, perhaps a simple action such as breathing a little, taking a walk or moving away from a certain environment may be the answer. In the long run, changing jobs, resolving outstanding issues with your partner, or consulting with a professional can help.
A moment of sadness, by itself, is neither good nor bad. It is a reality that we all feel, that we know and will know one day.
However, if this is a feeling that is recurrently present, it is important to focus on identifying its source. There is something that struggles to get to the surface and letting it flow can improve your mood.
