Advice When Looking For A Boyfriend

1.   Avoid despair

Nobody is attracted to a person who is desperate to find a boyfriend. Why? Because when we see that someone needs someone else to feel good, it means that their self-esteem is not doing very well and that is usually not attractive.

It is not necessary to be an expert in psychology to detect a lack of self-esteem, even if it is not intentional. Unconsciously we realize that the other person does not value themselves and  this is a negative point , which causes rejection. 

This makes it unattractive, because  we all want a person who loves himself and accepts himself for who he is.

I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a situation where one person wanted to introduce you to another. Parents who tell you they have a charming child they could introduce you to, friends who say they know someone who can’t get a boyfriend and who is a beautiful person, etc… Usually this is rejected out of hand because we think consciously and unconsciously: why do they want us hook up with someone who is not able to find a boyfriend by themselves?

Nobody wants what is easy to get, we want what many others want. We want to be chosen because we really like it, not out of loneliness or despair.  

Avoid at all costs the image of sadness, loneliness, despair for finding your partner.  Try to value yourself, feel good in solitude and value yourself, that way you will attract more than if you detect despair, sadness or loneliness.

2.   Even if your goal is not to find a boyfriend, enjoy socializing

It’s obvious when someone’s main goal is to find a boyfriend. There is a certain lightness and desperation that do not usually please. Avoid talking about how you want to find your half of the orange, how sad you are without a partner, etc…

Remember that negative things don’t attract anyone. You need to show your safe and positive side.  It is better that the intention is to meet people and then nobody knows what might happen, but that the other person sees that you are not looking for company because of your loneliness. Show that if you find someone you really like, you would like to have a serious relationship, but if the chemistry doesn’t work, you prefer to be alone.

This will make them appreciate you, because they will see that you don’t settle for anything, but that you are looking for someone special.  Everyone wants to brag about conquering something difficult, we all like to conquer something that doesn’t conform to whatever presents itself to them. 

3.   Frequently remember your qualities

In order for you to be interesting to someone, you first have to be the first person to value yourself. Stop to think about what your qualities are, explore them and believe in them. If you feel you are worth pity, others will too.

Think: if you were someone else, what would you love about the virtues you have? Take your positives and fall in love with them each day so that others will too.

Many want to meet a wonderful person and ask for many things in others, but we don’t look at ourselves. If you want someone who is worthy, become the person you are looking for, then you will be chosen.

love is not looking for

How many times have you heard this phrase? “Love is not sought, it happens when you least expect it”. I agree that love is not something you can easily find, you cannot activate it when you want, but it is also true that if we are not active, if we do nothing, it will be harder to find someone.

Love is not looking for, but it is necessary to meet new people.  The more people you meet, the more possibilities you have of falling in love with someone, of finding your partner.

Your goal, as I said in point 2, should not be to find a boyfriend, but to meet a lot of new people, so that you can open up the field of possibilities to meet someone special, with whom you want to start a dating relationship.

Photograph courtesy of Javier Bouzas