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When children are young, they are innocent beings who will rarely question what their parents say or do. For them, we are an example to be followed, so it is obvious that they tend to imitate us.
The problem is that we do n’t always act the way we preach, and kids realize that. It doesn’t make sense to tell our kids to be organized, not lie, and don’t talk loud, if we’re the first ones to do that. A thousand words and verbal teachings are useless if our example is not consistent with them.
Parents need to realize that we are the mirror where children reflect, their guide, their reference. If we are emotionally ill, our emotions will also be theirs, and our behavior will be projected onto them. Therefore, as adults, while it is clear that we have the right to fail, we must strive to increase self-control and discipline over ourselves, especially in front of our children.
Some good examples for our kids
teach to tell the truth
We believe that scolding children when they lie is enough, but it isn’t. Children imitate their parents, and let’s be honest, how many times have you found yourself telling a lie, even if it’s pious? On many occasions we even lie to them that they notice, so the message conveyed is that lying is normal, and that good people, and even their parents, lie.
teach to listen
You know how many times you’ve done the impossible to get your child to stop and listen to you, but how many times have you stopped to listen? How many times has he tried to tell you something that happened at school or sing your favorite song and you didn’t hear him?
It’s impossible to want your kids to stop and listen if at certain times you were busy and didn’t stop to listen. If you can’t stop right now, be honest and tell them that you can’t stop right now, but later you’ll be very happy to listen to it later.
teach to speak calmly
How many times do we ask our child not to scream while we scream for everything? If we want them to speak softly and pleasantly, we have to teach them by our example. It’s true that we sometimes lose our temper, but as adults and parents, we have to make an effort to be rational and not get carried away by emotion. If we do this often, our children will eventually learn.
teach to respect the rules
Do you drive over 120 km/h on the highway? Do you occasionally double-park? Steal pens from your office? If you act this way, you are not teaching your children to respect the rules. That way, it will be much harder to get the kids to respect the house rules, because they won’t understand why you can ignore them and they can’t.
Teaching productive hobbies
If you want your kids to read, you need to be in the habit of reading. If you don’t want them to get hooked on the television or smartphone, you can’t use them all day either. Your hobbies will be (with a high probability) the same hobbies as theirs. So if your hobbies aren’t beneficial, maybe it’s time to change them so your child can see you doing other things. It will be worth it for both of you.
teach frustration tolerance
This point is very important. If you’re one of those parents who drowns in a glass of water, your kids will hopelessly do the same. It’s extremely important to help your children tolerate life’s ups and downs, their own mistakes, others’ mistakes, frustrations, and ultimately adversity and misunderstandings. This will help them realize their own worth and know that they are capable of finding solutions, accepting what cannot be changed and remaining emotionally stable.
These are just a few examples of what you can teach your kids, but there are plenty of them. The key is to never forget that we are your main role model, at least until adolescence. Therefore, almost everything we do will be repeated by them. Reflect on what you don’t like about yourself and start to change, both for your own well-being and that of your children.
