rancha.xyz Be free to choose their own route to self-knowledge, health and balance of body and soul.
Certainly, over the course of your life, you’ve met people with this type of profile , probably more than once. These are people with whom it is difficult to live, work and even establish a healthy friendship. How to get? Sometimes they are accessible and permissive and, shortly thereafter, they erect insurmountable walls, making it impossible to talk or do anything.
What’s behind this personality type? A clear personal insecurity ? Envy? Or the simple desire to complicate the life of those around you? We know. It’s not easy to live with people like that, sometimes they even manage to bring out the worst in us. However, we must accept them and treat them as they are: insecure people.
What can we do? What strategies can we take in these cases?
We will see…
Yes, but no… Personal insecurity
“Yes, but no…” ,“Today I agree with everything you say or do, but tomorrow I won’t feel the same because that would force me to decide and I’m not prepared for that.” We all live in this kind of situation at some point in our lives, where suddenly our confidence and our hope are carried away like a paper boat that goes down the current.
Personal insecurity appears anywhere in our personal circle, however, let us analyze the most common cases:
– Insecurity in the education of their children: fathers and mothers who base their education on loose standards, on constant changes of focus, which end up projecting the same insecurity on their children. An example? Parents who promise their children that they will do certain things, who say they will let them go to a certain appointment, an excursion, a party… But later on, they change their minds and don’t allow it.
– Insecurity at the level of love relationships: in this case, we can exemplify numerous situations that can be very well known. From people who one day prove to be completely accessible, open to a commitment and future plans to, in a short time, radically change their minds and offer only imprecise excuses. Furthermore, it is also very common to meet these couples who have ended the relationship but never leave. They never finish “breaking” the bond, which creates even more suffering.
– Our friendships: who doesn’t have the classic friend who always needs our opinion or advice to do something? He tends to be close and helpful, however, when things don’t go as he/she waits, we are responsible. They show dependence and detachment at the same time, a mixture that, at times, seems to be camouflaged with affection and then with envy.
Those who neither eat nor let us eat… How can we defend ourselves?
How to treat people who “capture” us with their personal insecurity ? We cannot break our bonds with them if they are part of our lives, that is clear. So, the most recommendable and appropriate is that we learn how to treat them.
– First, we need to learn that we cannot change anyone overnight. Far from solving the “problem”, first start protecting yourself, avoiding being manipulated. Be clear about your values and boundaries, as well as everything you’re willing to allow or not.
– Clearly express how you feel whenever the person changes their mind or when they are not clear about their feelings. Make her see that her actions and her words have consequences.
– Be clear that insecure people often generate “negative emotions”. The last thing to do in these cases is to take responsibility for the person’s actions. If you have a romantic relationship with a person of that profile, do not attribute to yourself the ups and downs experienced by her, do not let yourself be carried away by this emotional roller coaster that says “Today I love you, but not tomorrow” . The problem is with the other person, not you; then think objectively how far you are willing to go and what you are going to allow.
– A secure person does not doubt, much less drags others towards their own falls of insecurity and personal dilemmas. If you think you’re wasting your time, walk away. However, if you like the person very much, make them see what their behavior generates, but always in a constructive, open and firm way.
