How To Eliminate Grudge

Anger is a negative emotion that appears when we feel that someone has misbehaved with us and hurt us. However,  feeling resentment does not solve any problem, on the contrary, it can bring us unhappiness and suffering. The resentful feeling appears as a protection not to suffer, to escape pain. Thus, we convert sadness into rancor, we feel stronger and, many times, we do this unconsciously.

In order to eliminate resentment it is not necessary to forgive, as there are very serious situations where forgiveness is not recommended, but we should then try to let go of resentment so that we can be at peace; so that, within ourselves, everything is resolved in a healthy way.

Often, a strong grudge can make a person want to get revenge, but the truth is that this makes the inner discomfort even worse. When someone feels resentment, it means that there were feelings at stake… revenge may even offer a momentary well-being, but it will end up producing even more pain, because it will cause a clash of contradictions. Anger usually produces a desire for revenge, but because of the feelings that also exist for the person, they would end up generating guilt and regret.

What do we gain by feeling a grudge?

There is nothing positive about feeling a grudge. We feel bad while the person who hurt us is probably happy and doesn’t feel any guilt for the pain they caused. With a grudge, we will only hurt ourselves even more, so  it is not rational to hold a grudge. In the end, we can only cause more pain to ourselves.

Some positive phrases to end the grudge

The way of thinking is crucial to return to inner peace.  If we don’t stop dwelling on what happened, if we keep asking ourselves questions that don’t have answers, if we keep insisting on the whys, the injustice, the mistakes made, etc… we will never stop feeling resentment.

The best thing is to think in a way that you can “let go” of the past; we must break the rope that keeps us stuck in the past and move on, with our soul at peace. Here are some phrases that can help you leave everything behind without resentment.

“This is life and there is nothing to be done; I learned from everything that happened and, now, the important thing is what happens in the present and what I will cultivate for the future”

“I free myself from guilt and resentment, since nothing can be done. I choose to focus my mind on the present, as walking backwards is harmful to me”

“I love myself and I accept everything that happened, I stay with the learning and I decide to move forward, with my soul at peace”

4 Tips to Eliminate Anger

 Take a day to vent everything you need. You can do this by talking to someone you trust or even writing. Say or write down everything you think, your opinion and what you feel at your deepest point. It’s very important.

 Once we’ve unburdened everything we needed, we need to concentrate on not going back, as the pain hurts. You just let it out to get everything out, including your feelings, but once you’ve done that, it’s very important to leave everything that happened behind you and forget about it.

: Accepting what happened means that we let go of resentment, hatred and any other feelings we may have. It is accepting that things cannot be changed and letting go of negativity, simply focusing on the learning gained from the situation in which we live.

 We can acquire new habits that offer inner peace, such as relaxing, taking time to do what we enjoy most, whether it’s exercise or whatever you prefer. Above all, we must move forward with our projects, hobbies and desires, always remaining active.

Remember that what we feel inside does not depend on our external part, it only depends on the control we can have over our emotions. It just depends on us! We must be aware and focus only on our daily lives.

Image Credits: Tonymadrid Photography