If You Take My Hand, We Can Go Through Life Until We Reach Where The Sun Sets…

Attraversiamo… I  confess it’s not a word I kept in my mind, but when you mentioned it, it triggered my memory. I think it was a low blow for you to refer to one of my favorite movies. It had an effect…

It’s a disgraceful job to maintain a relationship. Not just any relationship! The one that softens the legs, that makes nostalgia tighten the chest, that makes the kiss always be like the first one, with the bonus of experience and tricks to make that kiss pay off. No… Not just any relationship… But the one who makes bold plans, who loves for real, in health and illness, in wealth and poverty, since love has nothing to do with it.

And when it’s hard work, we get in the way, isn’t it? When I fumble with a writing, I feel like waving the paper up and throwing it in the trash, starting over a new sheet, without bad weather. I wish relationships were like that. I think for many they are, that’s why many relationships are so short.

But when you care, you can’t start over with “a new sheet” every time you blur the previous one. You can’t erase the error either… We fix it and move on.

And do I want a relationship all blurred, scrawled, full of fixes and fixes? I do not want. I want to make everything cute, so when I reread it, I don’t find so many mistakes that end up leaving the story ugly to look at and feel. The smudges get in the way of the beauty of the letters, if there are too many, it won’t look like a story, but just any draft.

Attraversiamo…  “let’s cross, go ahead, allow ourselves to be new, without fear…”

And if it’s not easy to take care of a relationship, let alone when it forces us to go ahead, take risks, get to know the new without being afraid.

Because it takes work to maintain a relationship…

Not just any relationship, but one like ours, where  attraversiamo  could easily be our watchword.

I don’t know how we aren’t afraid. I don’t know how to get rid of the old armor, full of marks of previous experiences, full of unfulfilled expectations, how do we reach out and walk on the water with an acquaintance stranger who suddenly invites us to go through life without fear. I don’t know how we do it… I don’t know…

I thought you knew. When you invited me, I was sure you had a lifeboat equipped, a survival kit, that you were a human compass, holding all the answers, that you could support me and I could falter. I didn’t realize that he was calling me to “cross over”. You and I. You needed protection too. And he thought I had a lifeboat equipped, a survival kit, that could guide you and give you answers.

We discovered, together, that to  cross  our path, we would have a lot of work. We would have to take off the clothes that hid our scarred and imperfect bodies and show ourselves naked to each other, realize the defects that the clothes camouflage, know the fear, the insecurity, this or that disappointment and learn to love… Ah… Loving is not none of what passion says it is. Loving… It hurts. And it’s scary, in addition to contentment.

Go or stay. Not to break, but go, or stay. It’s what couples decide when they decide they want to be together.

To stay. Comfort zone. Knowing the defects, the qualities, pondering, breathing, not arguing, not daring, not crossing that fine line between serenity and intensity. Serene love lives on Rua da Zona de Conforto, with no number, in the Isto Vai Longe district. Home, work, friends, barbecue on the weekend, children, dog, cat, lunch at the mother-in-law’s house, golden wedding anniversary.

Go. Cross. Danger zone. Knowing the defects, the qualities, pondering, breathing, discussing, daring, crossing the fine line of serenity and experiencing the intensity. Intense love lives in Rua da Coragem, without number, in the Bairro das Memoráveis ​​Memories. Home (or not), work (without slavery), friends (only the best), barbecue (who knows, or a picnic, a bike ride, a walk, a sunset, a bottle of wine), children, dog , cat, running away from her mother-in-law, a breeze, because the celebrations are daily.

“That it is not immortal since it is flame, but that it be infinite while it lasts.” Do you agree, Vinicius de Moraes?

I thought you knew… Oh nothing! You do not know anything. You came to find out with me how we cross to get to that horizon line, where the sun sets. And so we started walking, going forward, experiencing the new, taking risks, trying not to be afraid.

I’m all wrong. Every attempt at my fix collects errors. And our story already has its smudges there, but they didn’t take away the beauty of the letters that go into our pages. For me, the scribbles only show that we are living with such intensity, taking risks, allowing ourselves.

Breezes wedding… Lasting with this intensity of infinity, while we go  traversiando  la nostra strada .

I don’t know anything either… But if you hold my hand, we can walk for the rest of our lives towards that horizon, until we reach where the sun sets…