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Complaining when something doesn’t go the way we want is normal, but when the complaint is always for the same reason, it’s you yourself who is failing. If something doesn’t go right and you keep doing it anyway, it will keep going wrong. If we want changes in our lives, we also need to know how to change our actions.
I will tell a person’s case anonymously. It turns out that she had a group of friends that she often went out with, but she didn’t like some of their attitudes, such as when they made appointments and were late, the fact that they weren’t very responsible, and also the habit of canceling appointments at the last minute , without giving time to plan new things.
He told me and complained, many times, about the same situation, and I asked him, “Have you thought about meeting other people and making new friends?”. He didn’t like me asking that question, because he said they were good people, that I’ve known them for a long time, and I told him, “You’re right, but as nice as they are, you never agree with what they do, they are not punctual and, when they cancel, they do not notify you in advance enough for you to get organized again.”
She was thoughtful. On the one hand, I wanted to meet new people, but on the other, I was afraid of the unknown. Going back to the beginning, in any sense, is difficult, whether in the world of work, in the sentimental area, or in friendships… But if we are not happy with a situation, it is worth exploring new paths. She kept telling me the same thing, “Today we were going to explore a city all day, I left home with my backpack ready and, on the way, they called me saying something had happened and they couldn’t go.”
Again, I asked her if she was willing to continue giving opportunities to these people, and I added, “How many times are you going to continue to be disappointed in them?”
She continued to defend her friendships and told her that she had reasons not to give up on them. But no matter how unforeseen things continued to arise, a person of integrity would give advance notice, so as not to cause problems.
After a few years, she finally realized that these friendships were very different from her, that she deserved people who offered what she did: integrity, responsibility and word. Now he has new friends, but before getting good friends, he went through others that didn’t work out.
Everything in life works like this; you have to go through a process until you find what you really need. Now she used to say “How did I not realize it before? The difference between spending weekends complaining about the frustration caused by those people, and now enjoying time with different people, is amazing!”
She’s always expected her friendships to change, but things don’t change on their own. Often what fails is not the exterior, but ourselves, who do not take responsibility for situations. We cannot blame others for being the way they are, what we can do is choose whether to stay by their side or not. In life, there are a multitude of opportunities; if you find yourself in a place where you are not comfortable, try to start changing your path.
There are many people stuck in jobs they don’t like, in friendships that don’t do anything positive, in marriages where there is no love and every day is an ordeal. Starting over is really a lot of work, and it takes a lot of willpower, but it costs nothing to try. Remember that if you don’t take the initiative to change, nothing will change by itself. Fate is not written, it models itself based on our actions. There’s a world of possibilities out there, enjoy and don’t settle for what doesn’t make you happy.
