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Living without will is the global reflection of apathy and lack of motivation in relation to what we expect from the present and the future. Waking up every day in this state can become an ordeal. A mountain to climb that gets really steep because of the inertia that governs our mental state.
We should not forget that, for people who live unwillingly, getting out of bed every day means dedicating time to certain tasks with the feeling of not having the strength to perform them.
In a way, they need to make the extra effort, required by the burden they carry, to reach inexpensive goals (breakfast, change clothes, shower…). Apathy is so high that it is extremely difficult for them to take the initiative.
live without will in silence
Sometimes apathy goes unnoticed because the person makes up for the lack of motivation with effort. Thus, someone who lives with a person who lives in a spiral of unwillingness may not realize the pain he may be feeling.
Let’s think: how do you manage to notice that that person is feeling a constant apathy if he behaves as usual? This is a relevant point.
Often, we do not give due importance to the emotional state of the other due to the absence of relevant external symptoms. The person continues to carry out their work, their family obligations, attending social gatherings… even on their face we can find smiles.
However, internally there is no hope.
In the face of apathy, avoid clichés
When someone in this state tells us how they feel, we tend to respond with the typical phrases: “this is nothing”, “you’ll see how it goes”, “this happens to everyone”, “be happy”, “ don’t attach so much importance to it.”
We need to point out that, although the intention is to help, for a person who lives without a will, the typical motivational phrases may not be comforting. On the contrary, the feeling of not being understood can cause her to cut the channels of communication and close herself down.
So what can we do if a person tells us they feel apathetic? Well, this person may need your support and your active listening: to feel that you understand them, that you understand what they are going through, and that you are going to be there for them.
It’s likely to be comforting for her to be able to express what it means to live without will, and explain what it’s like to have to make a constant effort to accomplish each task.
beyond apathy
Living unwillingly, with apathy, can have a physiological component, as stated by a research group. Lack of motivation and apathy are associated with very specific brain circuits that, at certain times, can show certain abnormalities in their functioning.
Let’s think that, behind the lack of will, it is possible that there are conditions that go beyond external circumstances.
Apathy could hide certain underlying psychological pathologies and problems, such as major depression or dysthymia. Therefore, one of the first steps to overcome this state is to rule out medical problems (hormonal or organic causal factors) and/or psychological.
Leaving aside the source of apathy, it is important to seek support. We can do this both in our immediate surroundings and in the field of specialized professionals, as the suffering is sometimes greater than ourselves, so we need outside help to overcome it.
