Love To Be Loved

Among most people’s desires and aspirations is to be loved and valued by someone else; but how is anyone going to love you if you are not able to love yourself? This topic is usually complex, firstly, because it is very extensive, and secondly, because it can get to be very subjective, but it is really simple. Oscar Wilde understood him perfectly: “Loving yourself is the beginning of a romance that will last forever” .

This appreciation is subjective, because people often tend to belittle themselves, to blindly believe that they need others to be happy, or worse, they constantly need someone else’s approval to feel good about themselves, and that, my friends, is a bad education instilled in us from childhood.

what society imposes on us

Remember that it is common to give children a set of rules or obligations, contrary to their nature, to impose through stimuli – both negative and positive –  their duty to adapt to society’s norms, and that it is more important not to disturb, upset or annoy other people than actually feeling satisfied with who you are. For example, telling a child about your picture: don’t paint cows blue, there are no cows like that and they could never exist, you have to paint them as they are.

Furthermore, the constant threat of “people say” greatly limits each individual who chooses to live under this premise. In addition to being impossible to please “people”, it turns out that they do not teach us two other lessons: the first is that “people” should also please us, that is, not only respect others, but that others should respect us the same shape ; and the second is that there is something called the individual and that is what we are, so we have the right to live based on our own values, desires and aspirations, and that must be respected.

And when do you think about getting married?

And what is this discourse of individual thinking and social pressures for? Easy, because society has historically pressed for the individual to be married and with children at a certain age. It is a veiled demand; anyone over the age of 20, when meeting people or having conversations with the more moral ones, will hear the typical question: And when do you think about getting married?

With situations like this, many rush to get married or establish relationships with those who “love” or make them feel loved, but the truth is that this is a big mistake, and that’s why the current divorce rate is so high. The truth is that many are unable to accept themselves, do not allow themselves a margin of error and are strict with their lives, and therefore expect exactly the same from others, especially from those with whom they chose to share their lives, but if they do not love and accept each other what are they like, how do you expect someone else to love them?

Live life

Laugh, make mistakes, learn from mistakes, laugh when something goes wrong; life is to be lived, to be enjoyed, and trying to comply with meaningless rules (many of them don’t really have a rationale) spends the time we should devote to introspection, getting to know ourselves, respecting ourselves and loving ourselves as we are, to recognize our virtues (because we all have virtues) and when that happens – that we love ourselves as it should be – the right person who will love us for who we are, without masks and without hiding parts of our nature, will appear.