Make No Mistake: I’m Alone, But I Don’t Feel Alone

Make no mistake: I’m alone, but I don’t feel the emptiness of loneliness. Don’t feel obligated to pity me, don’t label me, much less try to find me a partner. I am where I want to be. Because being alone is so much smarter than sharing your life with the wrong person.

As we can see, the solitude that is sought or needed at any given time is an aspect that is socially poorly understood. In fact, even Aristotle used to say that only gods or beasts love to be alone. Nevertheless, eighteenth-century French moralists such as the Marquis de Vauvenargues explained that solitude is to the soul what diet is to the body: something we should practice now and then.

Learning to be alone and enjoying it from time to time is something that, in effect, we should all do. In fact, those who don’t often have to face the hard task of filling spaces, curing fears and alleviating insecurities in the worst way: occupying the lives of others or wishing for the first person who passes in front of them.

i’m alone but i’m fine

“Now I’m alone, but I’m fine like that.” This phrase, although it is increasingly common, continues to reveal a certain need to justify oneself, to clarify that even living alone, without a partner or without anyone by your side, this is a pleasant solitude. A chosen experience that we enjoy, even if others don’t understand.

Times change, no doubt about it. However, the image of an unmarried woman is not perceived in the same way as that of a man without a partner. It’s as if time went by faster for them, as if they were rushing to do everything as soon as possible to adjust to the socially imposed biological clock: you have to have a good job, find a good partner and quickly become a super mother.

But as we say, times change and women are no longer so obsessed with finding. Many prefer to be found. Others set aside biological clocks to continue their own mental and emotional compasses. They can find fulfillment with a partner, no doubt, but if that relationship fails, they are able to continue on their own course. Because they are responsible for themselves, because they are not afraid of loneliness. It’s a reunion with yourself, and that always heals. Always comforting.

You are not alone, life is all around you

When we have a friend or a single friend, we always look to find an opportunity for him or her to meet someone. We say that it’s not good to be alone, that falling in love is always worth it, and that life is much more beautiful walking hand in hand with someone.

But, it’s very likely that this friend says “I’m alone and I’m great like this” and that our friend responds “I don’t want to know about any of this right now” . Some will understand and most will see it with reservations because, generally, loneliness is not seen as a viable thing, but rather as bad luck.

If we think about it for a moment, we will realize that, in fact, we are never alone, life surrounds us. Also, most of us have our own group, family, friends, colleagues, etc. A companion does not always save us from loneliness, nor is he there for it. Sometimes it even brings us closer for the first time to the darkest abyss of this dimension, such as emotional loneliness.

Nobody is alone if he learns to like himself. Because we all inhabit our minds, because thinking, dreaming, designing and feeling is anything but a solitary gesture. We are dancers in our own inner worlds. We are healers of wounds, executors of forgiveness and artisans of our destinies.

So make no mistake, I’m not alone because life binds me, because my hopes are shattered. I stopped being afraid of fear, I am a satisfied tenant with my interior spaces and I await the future without anxiety, knowing how to enjoy my present.

We should all be able to delight from time to time in these moments of chosen solitude, silence and inner peace that ripen the fruits of the soul.