Narcissism, The Seed Of Childhood Aggression

We will rarely hear a parent admit that their children harm them physically or emotionally. It is a taboo, a face of violence that is protected from public light by the motto that “dirty clothes must be washed at home”. This phrase is usually added to violence, lack of self-esteem or lack of educational resources from the parents themselves, and a growing narcissism in children.

However, research that has gone a little deeper into the subject shows a devastating reality. Its conclusions are clear:  children’s violence against their parents is increasingly frequent, intense and precocious. But where does this increase in teenage violence against their own parents come from?

A recent study carried out with Spanish adolescents analyzed the factors that favor the appearance of this type of domestic violence. The data collected and its subsequent analysis indicate that  exposure to violence at home, lack of communication and permissive education create narcissistic adolescents who physically or verbally attack their parents.

The seed of violence is planted at home

The researchers explain that many teenagers who attack their parents were victims of violence by them when they were minors. Thus, it seems that  exposure to violence  within the family  is one of the decisive elements when it comes to validating this resource as a good educational tool.

However, on other occasions it is the lack of affective and positive communication between parents and children and/or the lack of quality time  dedicated to the children that triggers violent attitudes.

The results demonstrate that exposure to violence during the first year of the study coincided with aggression directed at parents during the third year. Likewise,  a distant relationship between parents and children in the first year of study was related to an  attitude  of narcissism in adolescents  during the second year and to aggression against parents.

Family education, key to preventing narcissism and violence

According to the researchers,  teaching practices and  education  are the key to preventing adolescent narcissism and violent attitudes. If parents do not raise their children with a sense of responsibility and respect, it is easy that, given the lack of an older model, they will acquire their own model according to society. A model in which frustration or imperfection does not exist and in which, therefore, each teenager must seek a way out in whatever way he can.

However, the behavior demonstrated by the fathers and mothers is not the only element. The children’s temperament is another important component.  Some boys and girls are more impulsive and learn violent behavior more easily,  as it is an easy way out to face the setbacks that their parents or life in general may present.

Uncontrolled rage, anteroom of teenage violence

Narcissistic teenagers tend to feel frustrated and rejected.  When this happens, screams and insults come first, accompanied – before, during or after – by physical aggression. The researchers explain that, for this reason, when parents realize that their child is fleeing from the previously agreed norms of respect, they must establish an educational and restorative dialogue that cuts this behavior in the bud.

The researchers explain that  the age group between 13 and 15 years old is critical for the positioning of the adolescent or pre-adolescent in the face of  aggression ,  whether directed at parents, other people or objects. Furthermore, they emphasize that, although there are no gender differences in the manifestation of this aggressiveness, there is a particularly marked growth in girls.

Once aggressive behavior has emerged in adolescents,  treatment should be aimed at reducing the narcissism they have of themselves. For this reason, the team suggests that the solution involves education in respect and tolerance for frustration, as well as preventing the exposure of sons and daughters to violence.