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We all need recognition. First of ourselves to validate ourselves in our capabilities, image and value. In addition, recognition is also the pillar that lays the foundations for self-esteem in children, the impulse that the worker needs in their activity and the strength that will build a strong relationship between the members of the couple. Therefore, it is important that the person feels loved, valued, appreciated…
The concept of recognition, as curious as it is, is sometimes not well understood. Some people see it as a negative dimension. After all, people who continually seek positive reinforcement from others are unable to maintain adequate emotional independence. They are, in the eyes of many, personalities who build their self-esteem based on the responses offered by others.
Recognition, a form of personal and social dignity
The human being lives in a constant duality. We all like to feel present in an environment. However, at the same time, we also like to be absent. Thus, we feel free, independent and at times separate from our daily scenarios. However, something no one can like is being invisible. Becoming that figure that no one sees or appreciates and is not taken into account.
Who knows this very well are the children who are in the back rows of the classroom, in a corner of the playground, with no one to talk to and enjoy a rich and colorful childhood. Just as teenagers know well that no one values, but everyone punishes. Also the person who does not feel valued by their spouse, living in the deepest place of loneliness and emotional abandonment. Recognition is a psychic tool that validates us with our reference groups. This, in turn, brings us dignity as a person.
After all, recognizing someone is making them visible. It is giving presence, it is allowing “to be”, “to be” and to grow in freedom. It’s appreciating someone for who they are, giving an affection that boosts personal growth but doesn’t constrain or invalidate. Recognition generates self-acceptance so that, somehow, we can also strengthen our self-esteem muscle even more.
On the other hand, an aspect that we must not forget about self-esteem is that, in this self-evaluative perception, the way we believe that others see us is also included. One thing cannot be separated from another. We are social beings and what others tell us or think about us will influence who we are one way or another.
Recognition is important, but we cannot rely solely on it
We are aware that few things can be more painful than rejection. Experiencing abandonment or contempt in our social group activates our panic alarms. After all, unchosen loneliness and isolation caused by negative bonds generate suffering. Now, as we indicated at the beginning, it is necessary to know how to reconcile the recognition we give ourselves with what we receive from others.
Living our lives based solely on positive external reinforcement creates dependency and discomfort. So it’s important to remember one simple point. The quality with which we recognize ourselves will, in turn, influence how others value us. Let’s take some examples. The employee who trusts their abilities, who feels capable and secure, will make a positive impact on their work environment. Your performance will be good and, on average, others will recognize your efforts.
Another example. The person who values himself, who feels fulfilled, free and autonomous builds affective relationships that are much stronger. This mature and secure character also arouses recognition and admiration, but never mutual dependence. No constant reinforcement is needed. Therefore, our happiness will not depend exclusively on whether or not we receive this positive recognition in each moment. There can be a perfect balance between the recognition we give and the recognition we receive. This can be done with the utmost sincerity and the most authentic affection.
To conclude, we cannot ignore this concept today. Recognition is the basis of every society for a very simple reason: it favors inclusion. It affirms the presence of the one who is invisible regardless of age, condition, ethnicity or personality. Knowing how to recognize is also knowing how to love wisely. After all, those who practice healthy recognition are able to validate the other for what they are, not what they would like them to be.
Let us therefore learn to recognize each other, give visibility to people and needs through affection, availability and humility.
