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They say that silence is the art that feeds wisdom, so on certain occasions we have no other choice to answer correctly or not to continue with conversations or discussions that are not worth it. Taking a deep breath and being silent is sometimes the best choice we can make.
It is curious how those who have worked with psychotherapy for many years see in the patient’s silence a considerable advance in their healing process. For many, it may seem a bit contradictory, as therapy is built through an exchange through the word. The means for healing is dialogue that acts as a confronting, investigating, awakening, and rebuilding energy.
“Silence is a friend that never betrays”.
– Confucius –
However, this sudden silence, when a person is silent for a moment and takes a deep breath, often marks a crucial moment. That’s when she becomes fully aware of her emotions, when she notices something she hadn’t noticed before. It’s also when a person is more focused than ever on harmonizing thoughts and emotions; the past is set aside to focus exclusively on the present moment.
Silence sometimes acts as an “awakening of conscience”, and this is something exceptional. It not only helps us to better manage conversations or specific situations, but it is also a channel to connect with ourselves, to stop for a moment “to do” and simply “to be”.
We are facing a subject with many interesting nuances and curious aspects that can be a great help for our daily lives. We invite you to immerse yourself in many aspects of silence and the art of remaining silent.
The mental noise that surrounds and devours us
We live in a culture of noise. We are not referring precisely to the pressure of ambient sound, the persistent hum of traffic, the constant noise of factories or the echo of big cities that never sleep. We talk about mental noise, the noise of conflicting emotions . A mental cacophony that does not let us hear who is in front of us and often prevents us from listening to ourselves.
We are influenced by a type of communication where the enthusiastic voice, which screams and doesn’t pause, is the one that wins. We see it in our politicians, we see it in many of our work meetings. The one who remains silent is labeled as indecisive and lacking in charisma. In fact, essayist and journalist George Michelsen Foy has done research to demonstrate that in Western culture the person who remains silent before responding is viewed with suspicion or suspicion.
Conversations are often articulated through phrases and words that do not pass through an adequate mental or emotional filter. We forget that managing language and speech is also the art of intelligence, where silence is often a necessary step.
Let’s stop for a moment to meet. It is necessary to stop to see and feel the other. Understand that there is nothing wrong with taking a breath and remaining silent for a moment in the middle of a conversation. Maybe what we’re going to say after this break is the solution to the problem or the key to restoring our relationship.
Keeping quiet can be a punishment
George Bernard Shaw said that “silence is the most perfect expression of contempt”. Therefore, we must be very careful in how we express our silence, how we apply it depending on the context and the people who receive it. So far, it’s clear that using silence is a perfect tool to manage emotions, to focus on the here and now, and to deliver a response or type of action more accurately.
“He who doesn’t know how to be silent doesn’t know how to speak”.
– Ausonio –
Entrepreneur, researcher and lecturer Luis Castellanos talks about this topic in his book “The science of positive language”. Silence is a break for ourselves. Remaining silent is necessary, for example, when we come home from work and are about to go home. Something as simple as taking a deep breath and remaining silent for a few seconds can take away the pressure and anxiety of this other context that we shouldn’t take home.
Now, something that would be good to consider is that silence can often act as a deterrent to the quality of our personal relationships. Words educate, words heal and help us build bridges, take root and strengthen our bonds through positive, empathetic and accessible language.
Therefore, we must take into account that silence is not a positive punishment for any child. Any irregularity, mischief or disobedience cannot be resolved through silence or leaving her grounded in the solitude of her room. With that, what we are doing is feeding the child’s anger. In these cases, communication is essential for her to change her behavior, recognize mistakes and develop.
Let’s make good use of silence. Let’s make it our castle of calm, where we meet again to harmonize our emotions, calm our minds and find the best answer; the most beautiful word for that particular moment.
