The Deepest Wounds Don’t Come From The Sharpest Knives

The deepest wounds don’t come from knives. They come from words, lies, absences and falsehoods. They are wounds that cannot be seen on the skin, but that hurt, that bleed, because they are made of sad tears, those that shed in intimacy and with silent bitterness…

Whoever was injured sails for a while adrift. Later, when time stitches these fractures together a little, the person notices something. You realize you’ve changed, still feel vulnerable, and sometimes you make the worst possible mistake: creating a solid barrier of self-protection. Distrust, then the thread of anger, and even the fence of rancor, nails it. Defense mechanisms with which to avoid being hurt again.

Now, no one can live on the defensive forever. We cannot transform ourselves into tenants of the bays of our solitude, into expatriates of happiness. Managing suffering is a heartbreaking and conscientious job, which, as Jung would say, requires us to rediscover our own shadow to regain self-esteem.

Providing this union again is something that no one can do for ourselves. It is a gesture of delicate solitude that we will do almost in the form of initiation. Only those who are able to face the demon of their traumas with courage and determination can leave this forest of poisoned thorns renewed.  The person who emerges from this hostile scenario will no longer be the same person.

It will be stronger.

The balm of the wounded mind

The balm of the wounded mind is balance. It is being able to take the step towards acceptance to release everything that weighs, everything that hurts. It is to change this fragile and wounded skin for a harder and more beautiful one that shelters the heart tired of being cold. But you must consider that there are many underground roots that continue to feed the root of pain. Branches that, far from draining the wound, feed it.

Hating our own vulnerability is, for example, one of those nutrients. There are those who deny it, who react to this apparent weakness. We live in a society that prohibits us from being vulnerable.

However, a balm for the wounded mind is to accept its weaker parts, acknowledging oneself hurt, but deserving of finding tranquility, happiness. The important thing is to like yourself enough to accept these torn parts without rancor. Without turning into renegades of their own affection and that of others.

Another root that feeds the wounded mind is resentment. Believe it or not, this emotion tends to “intoxicate” our own brain to the point of changing our thinking patterns. Prolonged anger changes our view of life and people. Nobody can find any balm inside this cage itself.

These deep and invisible wounds will forever dwell in the depths of our being. However, we have two options. The first is to be captives of pain forever. The second is to tear off the armor to accept and feel one’s vulnerability. Only in this way  will the strengthening, the learning and the liberating step for the future come.

We’re all a little broken, but we’re all brave

We all drag our broken pieces. Our lost pieces in these puzzles that we can’t finish. A traumatic childhood, a painful love relationship, the loss of a loved one… Day by day we come across each other without noticing these invisible wounds. The personal battles that each one has conquered define our profile now. Doing this with courage and dignity ennobles us. It makes us, in front of our own eyes, much more beautiful creatures.

We will be able to find each other again. The broken corners of our own interior completely distance us from that internal skeleton on which our identity rested. Our value, our own concept. We are like diffused souls who do not recognize themselves in the mirror or who convince themselves that they no longer deserve to love or be loved again.

Tips to heal wounds with courage

In Japanese there is an expression, “Arigato zaishö” which literally translates to “thank you hope”. However, for a long time it was given another really interesting connotation within personal growth. It shows us the subtle capacity that human beings have to transform suffering, resentment and bitterness into learning.

• Let’s open our eyes from the inside to create hope again. Because focusing on the disruption wounds produce completely cuts us off from the opportunity to gain knowledge and insight.
• To achieve this, one must be able to prevent one’s thoughts from becoming the hammer that, again and again, hits the same nail. Little by little, the hole will get bigger.
• Stopping the recurring thoughts of anguish, anger, or guilt is definitely the first step. Similarly, it’s also good to focus all of tomorrow’s attention.
• When we are in that dark room where only bitterness and rancor are with us, the prospects for a future fade, they do not exist. Little by little, we got used to the light, the daylight, to create new hopes, new projects.

It is possible that throughout life they have “buried” us with the veil of pain that these invisible wounds cause. However, remember: we are seeds. We are able to spring up even in the most adverse situations to say out loud “Arigato zaishö”.

Images courtesy of Miho Hirano.