The Likes Dictatorship

Social media is here to stay. This new form of communication has completely revolutionized the way we understand the world. In fact, in some respects we have gained great advantages over earlier times. However, for some people this came at a high price : the beginning of the likes dictatorship .

These days, we’re more dependent than ever on the idea that they care about us. With the rise of social networks like Instagram or Facebook, it seems that if we don’t have hundreds of followers, nobody values ​​us. This generates intense emotional discomfort in a large part of the population.

Therefore, in this article, we are going to talk about the negative effects of this likes dictatorship . However, first we have to understand why social networks are capable of generating so much dependency.

Why social media are so addictive

Humans are completely social animals. One of our basic instincts is the search for acceptance. According to evolutionary psychology, our ancestors needed their group to survive. Therefore, those who did not pay attention to the effect they caused on others died without leaving offspring.

Because of this, we came from others: from those who constantly depended on what the rest thought of them. So we inherited the instinct to try to please others. In times past, this translated into having good relationships with neighbors or close friends. However, nowadays, social networks have completely changed the paradigm.

Now, a kind of competition has been set up to see who is more popular on Facebook or Instagram. The dictatorship of likes that these platforms have generated makes us obsessed with looking better than others. So we compare ourselves to the rest, feeling bad if other people’s lives seem more attractive.

Some studies show that a large part of the young population is addicted to social networks. In part, that’s because getting a like on a photo triggers the same brain reward mechanisms as kissing someone we care about or listening to a compliment.

The dictatorship of likes creates new inconveniences

Due to this similarity between online and real attention, our brain is not able to differentiate them in some aspects. However, the biggest problem with reliance on validation coming from the Internet is that everyone seems to be more attractive than we are.

By its very nature, the network allows us to see the most remarkable people in the world. They can be the most attractive, the most different, the most popular… But in general, when someone achieves great fame on the Internet, it is because they are exceptional in some sense.

The problem is, by looking at our Facebook or Instagram profile, we’re comparing ourselves to these people who are way above average. Our lives, by contrast, seem gray and boring. We have the feeling that we need to live incredible experiences all the time to measure up.

Thus, large amounts of addictions and problems arise. For example, many people suffer from the famous FOMO ( fear of missing out or, in Portuguese, fear of being left out). This cognitive distortion leads us to think that everyone else has more interesting lives than ours.

Other people, on the other hand, are obsessed with demonstrating to the world that they are the best. Thus, they are constantly concerned about posting photos of their latest trip, a spectacular outing with friends or the fun new hobby they are practicing. All this without being able to really take advantage of these situations.

How to overcome these problems?

Unfortunately, a large number of people have fallen prey to the likes ‘ dictatorship . However, this harmful trend can be reversed. For that, you just have to follow these steps:

• Accept that other people’s lives are not really what it appears on social media. We all try to put only the best situations in life on the Internet. However, the truth is that most of the time is spent on everyday tasks, the same for everyone.

• Disconnect from networks. Spending too much time on the Internet can make your addiction symptoms worse. So take a moment every day to get away from your cell phone, computer and other electronic devices.
• Search internal validation sources. In many situations, we want others to tell us how cool we are because we don’t feel good about ourselves. So, if you manage to improve your self-esteem, many of the problems of the likes dictatorship will simply disappear.

Certainly, the road to being independent from social media is long and will be full of challenges. However, regaining your self-confidence is one of the best things you can do for yourself.