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There is no white without black, there is no happiness without sadness. When it comes to colors, our choice is based on taste, at least in part. However, when we talk about emotions everything seems less variable. We reject the ones that cause us discomfort, we embrace the ones that give us well-being. However, without the ones there would not be the others, or at least not in the same way. Would you be able to appreciate joy if you never had the opportunity to experience sadness?
We tend to escape from bad situations and sometimes not even that. Sometimes we settle for suffering and being victims of circumstances that we believe are not in our hands. A rather passive attitude that takes us away from the responsibility of our own life. But since you’ve immersed yourself in all these negative experiences, why not appreciate its opposite?
There is no white without black
The reality of why we immerse ourselves in negativity without being able to open our eyes to the positive has its origins in the illusions and expectations of what we consider to make us happy. We believe that a full life needs to be full of happiness, in which there is no lack of money, goodbyes, illnesses, toxic relationships…
We ran away from all this as well as the mistakes made. When we cannot escape, we are saddened by it. You are not doing the right thing. Thanks to all this you know how to appreciate just the opposite. The beauty of balance, of everyday life, of abundance, of satisfying your needs.
Why do we despise bad things if they allow us to discern and even lead us to good things? If you had never been wrong, you would probably know less than half of what you know today. If they had never lied to you, you wouldn’t appreciate the fact that they didn’t, because you wouldn’t know how tempting that option can be. In the same way, if no friend had let you down, you wouldn’t know today what true friendship is… and it turns out that much of our knowledge is born out of antagonisms.
It is in our relationships where we suffer most, where we notice this need to always be charged with positive emotions and never with negative ones. All this because we made the mistakes already mentioned, although on this plane much more notable. In relationships, whether friendship or couple, it is our expectations that largely condition the frustrations we suffer.
The importance of being realistic
No one is free from suffering, and that is not a disgrace. There are many negative people in this world and many circumstances that will put you to the test. If they hadn’t harmed you, you would never know how to discern those true people from those who want to take advantage of you. Every bad thing that happens to you has a positive side.
Perhaps you think that behind a betrayal there is nothing good, especially if it is your partner who cheats on you with someone else. However, over time you will find that, looking at this from a distance, it was somehow positive for you: your infidelity gave you enough motivation to end a relationship that no longer had anything to give you.
Likewise, the experience of “disastrous relationships” may have given you enough baggage that you now know very well what you want and what you don’t. In fact, a breakup always teaches something, and it’s the fact that that person wasn’t for you. In addition, in these relationships you will also learn what is your tendency to act in complicated situations, those that you face with exhausted patience.
Without realizing it, we sometimes look for darkness itself. How many times have you believed that having things would make you happy? Why do you feel condemned if you can’t have children? When was the last time you felt like a victim when it was in your hands not to be? The answers – in the form of valuable lessons – to these questions only come with the exciting exercise of living.
Everything that involves emotions marks us even more. That’s why we always have so many problems in our relationships. Sometimes we put our needs in the hands of others: emotional needs, fears, needs to make us happy… However, there is nothing negative about all this. It is through pain and suffering that we learn. Only then can we grow as people. Because there is never white without black, and that’s good.
