What Does Psychology Say About Infidelity?

Infidelity is an action committed by one of the people in the relationship, which breaks one of the main pillars of the relationship, trust, with the breaking of the agreement that had been established between them.

Why does it come to infidelity?

There are many reasons why a member of the relationship becomes unfaithful, but they all have an explanation for personal dissatisfaction.

When a person feels personally dissatisfied because they have unresolved personal or relationship conflicts, they tend to run away. This, in turn, generates more dissatisfaction and unhappiness, and makes the relationship and personal dissatisfaction increasingly difficult to bear.

What is personal dissatisfaction?

It is a feeling of unhappiness with one’s own life, and this, on many occasions, has been going on since before meeting the person with whom you were unfaithful.

Dissatisfaction is often the result of fears, insecurities and indecisions, which make life go by without any personal satisfaction, since there is no daring to face, resolve and change the situations that make the person unhappy.

At other times, dissatisfaction increases within the couple’s relationship, as the relationship does not work  and the necessary decisions are not made. Increasingly, the relationship becomes distant, cold, and monotonous, and the only solution that is established is affective distance and increased dissatisfaction.

What consequences does infidelity bring?

As we have said, fidelity is one of the pillars of the relationship, which gives stability and support to it. Breaking this pillar puts the couple’s relationship at risk  since, among other things, infidelity breeds distrust. This becomes very dangerous as trust is an extremely important and necessary value to keep the relationship as a safe place.

What attitudes lead a person to infidelity?

Within personal dissatisfaction, the dissatisfied person who becomes unfaithful could be defined as someone who avoids their reality. She, therefore, does not dare to face the situation, perhaps because of fears, insecurities and low self-esteem.  There is probably also an emotional dependence on the relationship; the person is not happy with it, but neither does he imagine himself without it.

When is infidelity most likely to appear?

Within the stages that a couple relationship goes through, one of them is of greater risk for infidelity to occur when there is unresolved dissatisfaction. This is the stage of self-assertion, in which crises arise, most of them due to old unresolved conflicts, whether personal or of the couple.

How to prevent infidelity?

It is very important to  be aware of personal dissatisfaction  with unresolved conflicts, on many occasions, even before you meet your current partner. Only then will it be possible to resolve them.

If personal dissatisfaction arises or increases with the couple’s relationship, it is convenient to face it, resolve it, or if necessary, make the decision to end it. Thus, each one can look for his path to happiness alone.

For this, it may be convenient to get professional help in time, in which  fears, dependence and low self-esteem are addressed, so that courage and security to make decisions to deserve a better, full and happy life emerge.

When we resolve our personal dissatisfaction and resume our own life,  we also avoid harming the other member of the relationship, who in many cases is oblivious to the dissatisfaction and unhappiness of his or her partner.