What Is Missing Inside People Who Make Destructive Criticisms?

What is the reason that there are people who continually make destructive criticisms? What might be the hidden motivation behind this behavior? What is missing within you that needs to be filled with what is outside? Here may be the secret of criticism.

A study by Wake Forest University has shown that people who make destructive criticisms are actually more unhappy and have a higher risk of depression. This could also be demonstrated in another recent study: this research revealed that the experiences of destructive criticism, rejection and humiliation are processed in the same part of the brain responsible for regulating the sensation of pain.

If we analyze the previous sentence well, then we realize that those who criticize are generally the people who are most dissatisfied with their own lives. People who need to “demote the outside to elevate the inside”, people who are not happy for the success of others, people who prefer to put defects to proposing solutions, people who are negative or empty and with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is the basis of people who make destructive criticisms

What we criticize in other people says more about ourselves than about others. When we talk about others, we actually project aspects of ourselves outward; those who criticize, in this case, project aspects of their personality or behavior that they do not accept and do not see in themselves, but in those who are in front of them.

Therefore, healthy people with good self-esteem do not continually criticize, as they are calm inside. They know each other and know what’s in them that they don’t like and that’s why they work on the inside and not just the outside. Good self-esteem and a healthy relationship with yourself determine how we relate to others.

What can we do then? Every time we see something in others that irritates us, hurts us, bothers us, we should identify the reason for this feeling, why does it affect us? Why can’t we tolerate it? Why don’t I like being around this person? This may allow us to get to know a new part of ourselves that we didn’t know before.

How can we make the review positive?

Before criticizing, we should ask ourselves: will this comment help in anything? Do we add any information, advice or anything valid for the other person? Is it constructive or destructive? If it’s not going to add anything, why do we want to reduce the others? What part do we not tolerate this behavior in our conduct? What is really behind this criticism?

How does my comment affect me?

Criticism, when born from an internally healthy person, adds and makes things better. On the contrary, when they arise out of anger, resentment, envy or unhappiness, they turn into something negative and, at the same time, destructive.