You Don’t Have To Prove Anything To Anyone

Trying to be the best or being particularly superior in some way is an unmistakable sign of insecurity. While no one needs to prove anything to anyone, there are those who think they do and act accordingly.

What makes us try to prove something and justify ourselves in front of others is insecurity, especially when there is a huge gap between how we see ourselves and how we want to be seen. Deep down, what exists is a deep desire for others to value us. So instead of feeling like we don’t need to prove anything to anyone, we’re invaded by the opposite feeling.

When this happens, we constantly compare ourselves to others and need to prove that we are better than them in some way. What we get in the end is an empty and distorted satisfaction.

If there’s self-love, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone

The key to all this lies in self-love. Many believe that self-love is the same as pride, narcissism or arrogance. However, in reality it is the other way around. The more self-love there is, the less there is a need to boast about being the best and to despise others.

Having self-love means feeling worthy of appreciation and respect above all circumstances. This means that the feeling of worth does not depend on something external or personal achievements, but on ourselves.

Self-love is essential and not cyclical. So when there is this feeling of appreciation for who you are, you never have to prove anything to anyone. There is no such competitive desire, or the desire to arouse feelings of wonder or fear in others. The person feels valuable as he is, just because he is and exists.

Being and demonstrating to be, two different realities

Showing something that we are not, or that we are only partially, involves an enormous expenditure of emotional energy. The constant in these cases is the internal tension. From there to stress, there is only one step. It is distressing to have to build and sustain a kind of mask and then depend on the impact it has on others to validate us.

What is intended with this type of behavior is to prove something, to prove that we are a certain type of person (sociable, intelligent, etc.). It is also possible that we try to show that we experience certain feelings or thoughts (compassion, patriotism, love, etc.).

Of course, there are also cases where someone tries to show that he is not something or does not feel something. For example, when we want to prove that we are not afraid and that we take reckless actions. Or when we want to show that we are not ignorant and we try to make it appear to others.

All of this is a consequence of not accepting yourself. Certain personal aspects are rejected for neurotic reasons. This means that the reasons that cause this rejection have to do not with sound reasoning, but with an illusory desire to “be like others” in order to satisfy social, family, etc. mandates. So, although one never has to prove anything to anyone, in these cases the opposite logic operates.

a matter of illusions

What is at the bottom of a person who is in charge of demonstrating that he is something, that he feels something or that something can be something is an illusion. Unconsciously, he holds the illusory idea that by demonstrating this, he will eventually gain the approval of others. In turn, this approval will help you achieve the sense of personal worth you so much lack.

In practice, the opposite is true. Lack of authenticity becomes an obstacle both in learning to accept yourself and in getting accepted. After all, masks always end up being discovered or disappearing.

Now, no one needs to prove anything to anyone. If there is this desire, it is because inside there is something that is cracked, broken, or hurt. The greatest test of confidence and personal strength is being yourself. The disproportionate need for approval only leads to a vicious circle in which we feel less and less free and valuable.